• Tracee Fossier

Manifesting to heal your broken heart-Dating a Married Man

Updated: Mar 27



You know the relationship is over. You knew it was never going to last. He was (with your love struck eyes ) everything you wanted. He was tall, handsome, seductive voice that made you tingle in all the right places. But there was one major flaw- a huge obstacle that you could never conquer- His wife.

You trace your memories back to the first time you saw his eyes. Oh how he was handsome. His online profile read like a love story written by Shakespeare himself. You connected on a level that you never thought imaginable and yet your heart paused when he told you he was married. How could someone this perfect , this amazing, be married. Your first thought was goodbye. But he kept talking and you kept talking and many letters later you had decided to meet. One hotel stay later lead to others that lead to romance that lead to you falling in love. Delusions of him leaving his wife flooded your thoughts and so tightly you held on for a few stolen moments and occasional emails. Then the plane to fantasy land crashed. No survivors. You had decided to tell his wife about the affair and about you. Many advised against it . That it would bring undue pain to his wife and his marriage and for what? What did you hope to accomplish ?

What few will understand but many will disapprove the goal was to make him see what a path of destructive trauma an affair does to the trifecta of people involved. You see this was his 8th affair in his 32 years of marriage and he showed no signs of slowing down. Was she aware of you ? Did she know she slept next to a man who was unfaithful? Yes she would hurt but living a lie would also be painful. He for sure was not going to tell her so you felt a duty to inform her. Let her make her decision once presented with all the facts. Little did you know the affair would end and the real pain begin.


Stories like this are repeated over and over again . Married men who play and women who fall in love. But ladies are you in love with the man or the idea that he is unable to be had. Follow me ladies , as women we are programmed to want things and if told we can’t have them we want them even more. For some of us with a competitive nature it becomes a challenge, a quest. The more he resists the more you want him. The more unattainable he appears the more you desire. This conquest goes on for so long you lose track of when you and where it all began. You forget to check your emotions as you pull out all the stops included  the “ I love you” card and “Your the most amazing man” card. You discarded the times he couldn’t talk to you after 5, weekends and holidays because he was with her, you know his wife. You discarded how you felt on your birthday all alone because he had to be home with his wife. You forgot all the times you diverted your thoughts away from I wish he could take me here, be here with me or spend the night. You only replayed the good times, the great sex ( that you know was just ok) , and reread all the letters that were not really romantic but just interesting at best.

Here’s the Problem: You’ve associated only the good memories to him. You think of him, hear every love song and instantly your transported back in his arms.


Here’s the Solution: We have to retire your thoughts. It’s time to associate a bad memory, bad taste, bad smell to him. Stop playing love songs - Are you kidding? AA memory, bad taste, bad smell to him. Stop playing love songs - Are you kidding? AA meetings aren’t held  at Specs ! -

Go to Apple Music and type in Brave Mind,Body,Soul and there I have a the Love Detox - How to heal a broken heart playlist. 6 hours of the music you need to hear. Empowering, I will survive,Goodbye Songs.

Get Bertie Botts Jelly Belly Beans. This is the gross ones. With every memory of him ( and I know you have a lot) eat one. Not quickly , savor the flavor of vomit, booger and sweat as you think of him.

Get rid of every thing he bought you , every piece of lingerie you bought for him . Trust me girl you don’t want it. It’s cursed.

Delete every picture and every video you made with him. (You know you made videos) - And delete them from the trash.

Block him from your phone (through the carrier) and from the settings and if you emailed block that. Aren’t you tired of hoping each email notice and text alert is him? Girl it’s not going to be. Your just wasting your days. You already wasted enough.

  1. Start journaling your feelings. Talk to your writing , cry it out ( you will) and keep writing. Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing.

  2. Wake up- The nightmare is over. Now go out and love yourself. So you can be loved again.



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Tracee Fossier
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